


Never Enough

by your_taxidermy



Category: Far Cry 5
Genre: Emotional Hurt, F/F, F/M, Hurt/Comfort, Sadness, self blame, this started off on my phone and now im sobbing at my computer
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-06-21
Updated: 2018-06-21
Packaged: 2019-05-26 13:46:00
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,238
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/15002147
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/your_taxidermy/pseuds/your_taxidermy
Summary: Stargazing takes an emotional turn





	Never Enough

**Author's Note:**

> I love Joey Hudson and would kill and die for her :) Enjoy !

“The stars are really pretty tonight,” Joey said as she took a light sip of her hot cocoa. Rook’s arm was around her shoulders, messing with the braid along her side. “Yeah, Nick told me the night view was really nice at this hour.” 

 

It was almost 8 pm and the peggies were dying off and headed off into the other regions, so Holland Valley was peaceful for once. “I should thank you again for saving my ass back there,” Joey said again, nuzzling into Rook’s shoulder. “You’re a hero. I shouldn’t even call you Rook anymore, you’re… you’re a real deputy.” 

 

Joey’s voice softened like the swaying fields behind them. “I couldn’t let that son of a bitch John keep tormenting us, I’m glad to have you back, Joey.” 

 

Goosebumps formed on Rook’s arms and Joey passed them the hot drink. They happily accepted it and closed their eyes as they basked in the warmth of Hudson, the drink, and the final moments of the setting sun. 

 

“Thanks… for everything, Joey. I mean, you saved my ass too. Saved me from John. I tried hard to get to you… but it didn’t seem like enough.”

 

Rook was guilty.

Guilty they didn’t save her when they first saw her. 

 

They huffed softly. 

 

“I’m sorry, Joey.” 

 

Joey’s dark eyes softened at Rook’s blame, she knew it wasn’t true. 

 

“Hey, don’t say that. You did what you could… you saved everyone here.” Joey whispered, feeling tears form on the corners of her eyes. “You saved me. You saved Pratt.” 

 

It was never enough, was it? Nothing Rook did seemed to save everyone, all the people that died, all the innocent people they couldn’t save. 

 

It wasn’t enough for them to rest easy. 

 

Joey never rested easy either, her best friend, her partner, Danny, was dead all because of her. 

 

Or so she thought. It wasn’t her fault but she blamed herself for his death when really? She could have done nothing to help. She remembers calling for backup, tears in her eyes, and by the time they came, he was cold. 

 

As his head rested on her jacket, she pounded the ground beside his head, cursing at herself for not saving him. 

 

“Why? Danny? Why… why couldn’t I save you?” 

 

That moment played in her head every night, every time she got the same blueberry milkshake. 

 

Rook became her only comfort when her flashbacks were too hard to handle. 

 

Rook would come over at any hour of the night, bringing snacks, a warm blanket. 

 

Now that Joey got to thinking about Danny, her eyes were burning from the rolling tears, she tried so hard to fight them. She was tired of crying over things she couldn’t control. “Joey…” they began, putting their hand on her knee. “Joey, you’re strong and John didn’t stand a fucking chance against you.” 

 

Strong. 

 

Only You, Joey. 

 

Only YOU could have saved Danny. 

 

IT WAS ONLY EVER YOU. 

 

Rook rubbed her knees and rested their head on her shoulder. 

 

The air between them was cold, maybe even bitter. Joey was still heartbroken she couldn’t get to Danny. 

 

Rook was still devastated Joey had to look at John Seed for all that time. She had to watch as he prepared his knives to carve into her. 

 

She had to watch over Danny until dispatch came. Something died inside them, it was never enough. 

 

John Seed is dead. 

 

For what? 

 

Only for Joey to toss and turn at night, having nightmares about John. 

 

At least he couldn’t hurt her anymore. 

 

Joey brought the thermos to her lips and inhaled the sweet scent of the drink Rook so tenderly made before they left. 

 

“Maybe it’s stupid,” Rook began, their eyes scanning the horizon, the stars twinkling under the lights of the Valley, the Spread Eagle in just eyeshot. 

 

“When we first got at the compound, you said  _ you’ll be fine,  _ I really thought everything would be okay. I had so much trust in you, Joe. You’ve never let me down, and… you didn’t. Everything was fine because I’m here with you.” 

 

Rook’s lips tugged into a smile. 

 

“And when I’m with you, everything is fine. I forget about the world when you smile. When you laugh, I forget about the cult. I just want to make you laugh more.” 

 

Joey stopped drinking and looked over at Rook, the world disappearing right before her. It was just Rook and the stars. 

 

“I feel the same, Rookie.” Joey was never too emotional and admitting how she felt towards Rook… took a lot of guts. Even for her, the deputy who was downright fearless and would spit in John’s face in the midst of endless torture. 

 

“Look at that cluster of stars. They’re shining brighter than the rest.” Said Joey, scooting closer to Rook. It took them a moment to look at them because they already had a beautiful star right beside them with beautiful sparkling eyes and hair as black as night. 

 

Their eyes went up to the shining cluster that stood out from the rest, and it was a stunning thing to see. But of course, not as stunning as the woman beside them. 

 

“Thanks for taking me up here, Rook. Means a lot, I’m… I’m happy to be here,” Joey paused as she looked over at Rook, who was just listening to her soft voice. 

 

“To be here with you.” 

 

Maybe it was enough to hear those words roll from Hudson’s lips. 

 

Their cheeks turned a soft red and they were happy Joey couldn’t see it. Slowly, Hudson’s hand traced Rook’s leg and up their chest to meet their cheek. “Someone’s blushing,” Hudson teased softly. 

 

It was happening. 

 

“Can I kiss you, Rook?” Joey braved up and just asked the question, what did she have to lose? 

 

Rook didn’t reply with words. 

 

They leaned in to kiss her softly, slowly. Savoring the moment they’d been waiting for for so, so long. Her hand went to Rook’s ear, brushing the strands of hair behind it, the warmth of her hands comforted Rook, spending so much time in the Whitetails called for such cold nights and freezing skin. 

 

Joey pulled away, her eyes locked on the lips she just kissed, it wasn’t a dream like before, it wasn’t just her imagination.

 

This was real. 

 

Nothing felt real anymore but this? 

 

This was real. 

 

“Is now a good time to say  _ I love you _ ?”  Rook asked with a faint smile, hoping they weren’t making a mistake by asking this now. 

 

“Now’s a good a time as any. I love you, Rook. A lot.” 

 

Joey kissed them again, savoring the cocoa flavor on the latter’s lips. 

 

“I love you too, Joey.” 

 

The moon was shining down on the two, they were angelic and perfect under the light. 

 

Joey’s irises were reflecting Rook’s reflection back at them and the world seemed to pause around them. It was just them. 

 

They just smiled. 

 

“Gosh, you’re fuckin’ beautiful, Joey.” That caught her off guard and she just started laughing. 

 

“Be quiet and get me a donut,” Hudson chuckled, she couldn’t be sugary sweet for too long, it wasn’t her. 

 

Rook got her the sweet and took a bite before giving it to her. “Thanks, babe,” she said with a mouthful. 

 

“Hey, do you wanna call Nick to take us for a ride over the Valley?” Rook suggested with a bright smile. 

 

**_“Yeah, I’d like that.”_ **


End file.
